Hahn (4–1) vs. Johnson (4–1)
Two of the least seen members of Burrell FLF find themselves with 80% win rates and battling here for first place.
Average Scores
Hahn: 151 (1st)
Johnson: 146 (3rd)
Projected Score Week 6
Hahn: 131 (4th)
Johnson: 128 (5th)
Expected Records
Hahn: 4–1
Johnson: 3–2
Hahn’s Side
Hahn of the Dead has been given life from all angles this year, with his team scoring breakdown looking like a Bernie Sanders redistribution platform
Matt Ryan has been more like Flat Ryan after a huge two weeks to start the season.
That plot looks a lot like the Dow Jones from January 2020 to May 2020
If he bounces back like the Dow did, Hahn will have no idea cause he sent him to waiverland this week in favor of the rookie Justin Herbert.
Hahn’s been dropping 20 bombs like it’s 1941 all year, making a complete joke out of everyone he plays
Except, of course, Jon — who can only be beat by Clint.
Imitation is the sincerest form of Jack Flaherty, so Hahn decided to copy the 2019 Pish strategy of rolling with the Tannehill → AJ Brown stack this week as they take on a pretty bad Texans defense. Mike Davis has made Christian McCaffrey look like the most overpaid athlete in history, as he has essentially put up CMC numbers since taking over in week three:
Just astounding to me that teams are still giving running backs big contracts when it’s obvious to any idiot sitting here in a chair writing about fantasy football that Mike Davis is at least 80% as good as McCaffrey and he’s probably being paid the league minimum. More props due to Hahn for taking care of that handcuff, he really hasn’t even missed CMC which is pretty amazing.
I still see a lot of downside on the team here, as there just aren’t a lot of guaranteed touches on this team after Davis. Lots of boom or bust on this team and Hahn has really been seeing only the boom, so I wouldn’t be surprised to see a few 110’s coming for Hahn when things go a little bit less lucky.
Nothing to really complain about though, it should be another solid 130–145 score for Hahn here.
Johnson’s Side
- The Enron Book Cookers
- Bernie Madoff
- The Lehman Brothers
- Charles Ponzi
- Johnson’s 2020 Fantasy Team
These are the five biggest frauds in American history. This is like a two man team that has just had everything that could go wrong go right this year.
Adam Thielen and DK Metcalf continue to hit on these big plays to save their fantasy days, and Drew Brees has one good game this year.
Johnson was completely catapulted into the top three in points after a Yahtzee week 5 where he had six of his nine starters score more than 20 points, scoring ten total touchdowns.
I personally guarantee that is Johnson’s highest score of the year and if I’m wrong I’ll buy Johnson a house. An entire fucking house.
The good news for Johnson is that his team name made someone laugh this week in Slack, but the bad news is that I googled it and discovered that yes indeed, Johnson stole it! Tons of results when you search it
More and more fraud just keeps getting exposed. And how are they even allowed to make this joke? How is comparing a black guy with a unique haircut to Star Wars’ version of a monkey not like the most obviously textbook racism there is. I’d be appalled by this if I was a guy who got appalled by stuff like that. If I were appalled, I’d be appalled.
Honestly everything I’ve said about Johnson’s team not being good and now being lucky and a fraud is super wrong and dumb, and that’s especially true now with Top Shelvin’ Melvin Gordon in the drunk tank and Phillip Lindsay ready to Phillup the scoresheet against the Patriots.
Goff-Zeek-Lindsay-Hopkins-Thielen-Slayton-Samuel is a super solid group of players and that’s without Metcalf and Henry available this week.. so I’ll go ahead and off myself now.
Johnson Pancakes Hahn But Still Doesn’t Take The WVU Scholarship Because It Actually Never Existed And He Just Made That Up :: 149–129